i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
