I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Randomize
