i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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