Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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