There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
