i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
