Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
