You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
