guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
