We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
