Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
