Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize