just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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