My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
