i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think my moral compass just broke
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
