recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
