But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
