I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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