Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
