She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
