It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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