why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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