im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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