yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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