sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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