if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize