those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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