Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
