Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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