how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
