I love black thongs
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
