We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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