Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize