If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
