this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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