Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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