girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
