By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My penis needs a shock collar
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
