i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
