How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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