oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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