PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
