Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
