I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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