walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
