Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
