i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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