Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
