dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My balls are so social today.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize