yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The power of my boobs compel you
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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