bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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