So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
