I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
