Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
