you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
