JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
