she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
