I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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