Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
