corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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