garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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