12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
