I just saw a hot homeless man
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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